Her Replacement
by dontcryMasha
Summary: AU. When Jo unexpectedly died, she left Kendall alone with their 3 year old daughter. Desperate to keep her happy but still be a successful writer, Kendall hires a live in nanny, only to discover that his daughter isn't the only one who needs to be loved. Kogan. Mentioned het but nothing graphic.
1. Hire

_"Daddy!"_

_"Not now sweetheart; I really need to finish this up."_

_"But daddy!"_

_"Don't worry. Mama's gonna be home real soon and you can play with her. Just hang tight."_

_The little three year old blonde girl tugs at her father's arm, greatly distracting him from the copyediting of his latest novel._

_"Zoe, please," Kendall tells his daughter. He takes one hand from the keyboard briefly and pats her head before turning it to its rightful place on the keys. "I really, really have to finish this. Why don't you go play with your dolls? I'll be in soon and help you get ready for bed."_

_"Oh, okay." Zoe sighs greatly and leaves her father's study. She steps down the big, empty hallway of the giant house and goes to her room, plops on the floor and begins to play with a few princess dolls. "Oh Lady, you are late for the ball."_

_Kendall smiles from the study when he hears her little voice echo through the lonely house. He has just a few more pages to edit and he'll be done with this book. Unfortunately he'll turn around and immediately start the next, but it could be worse._

_The phone rings._

_"Who calls now?" he thinks to himself. Without checking the caller ID, he picks up the receiver and says, "Hello? Yes, this is him."_

_His face falls white._

_"…what? When? How?!"_

* * *

"Uh, Mr. Garcia, right?"

"Yep."

"What makes you qualified for a live in nanny position?"

"Well, I have four younger brothers. Being the oldest, I always had to take care of 'em."

"Oh, right. So the job also includes cleaning and cooking. You know this, right?"

"Yeah that's cool."

"You, um, you do you realize you're getting Cheetos all over my desk, right?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah."

Three interviews later and Kendall still has no one. How hard is it to find a good live in nanny/housekeeper in LA? Apparently harder than it seems.

Zoe climbs up into his lap and hugs him. "Are we gonna get a new mama?"

"Don't say that, sweetie," Kendall whispers. "It's not a new mama, just a new friend. Someone who can play with you and take care of the house just like mama did when she was home."

"Yeah, a new mama."

"No baby girl, it's not a new mama. Don't say that, okay?" Kendall pets her soft hair and kisses the top of her head. "You'll still only have one mama."

He looks down at a chart on his desk and reads the last name for the day. "Logan? Logan Mitchell?" He calls out.

Through the two open doors to the study comes a short young man. He has fair skin, short dark hair and what seems to be deep brown eyes. He's wearing a collared shirt under a sweater with nicely pressed khaki pants.

"H-hello, Mr. Knight," the applicant says.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Kendall asks casually. "Go ahead and take a seat."

"Thank you." Logan nods and smiles just a bit, showing off a pair of cute dimples in his face. He sits at the only chair across from Kendall and puts his hands in his lap. "This must be Zoe, right?"

"It sure is. Zoe, say hi to Logan."

"Hi Logan!" the little girl waves a lot at the boy across from her and grins. Logan smiles back.

"She's adorable," Logan says.

"Hah. Thanks. She's the most important thing to me, you know."

"I can see why."

"Alright so uh, Logan," Kendall looks down at the papers and pulls out the boy's resume. He sees that he's only recently turned 19. "You're pretty young. You know this is a live-in job, right?"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"What drives a 19 year old boy to get a job like this?"

"Okay, well I've been a fulltime nanny before. Never live-in, but almost. It was _extremely _rewarding work and I loved every minute of it. The people moved, though. So I've been out of work. But ummm, to be perfectly honest…"

"Yeah?"

Logan blushes and looks a bit shy. "There's a lot of drama at home and I'm trying to avoid it."

"Ah, I see. I get it. That's cool." Kendall puts his arms around Zoe again and smiles sadly. "We understand how drama is. It's good to avoid it as much as possible."

"Yeah," Logan says with a sigh. "Just, ah, complicated stuff."

"It's alright. Thanks for telling me that much, I appreciate it."

"Not a problem." Logan smiles at Kendall warmly and Kendall returns the emotion.

"So you can cook? Clean? Keep house?" Kendall asks.

"I think so. I've never had any complaints before. Of course I'm still learning a lot, but I'm trying my best."

"Fantastic. Trying always counts, right?" Kendall flashes his green eyes and Logan and the younger man blushes again. "You seem like a real nice guy."

"I, haha, I try my best," Logan giggles.

"So when can you start?"

* * *

"Logan is going to be your new best friend, alright?" Kendall tells Zoe as the new nanny is unpacking his things in the guest room downstairs. "It might be weird at first since he's new, but give it some time and you'll get along great."

"Okay daddy," Zoe says quietly.

Kendall picks up the Lady doll and hands it to his daughter. "I bet he'd love to meet your princesses, huh?"

"Yeah, I think," the girl answers, now playing with Lady's long red hair.

"Good. I'm gonna go check on him, so you stay here and be good."

"Yep!" Zoe cheers with a grin. Kendall kisses on the top of the head then heads downstairs to see how his new nanny is settling in.

The guest room is on the ground floor and it is very large. It's actually two rooms in one (or three if you count the bathroom), so Logan has a big bedroom then a smaller sitting room with his own TV. The entire area is almost as big as the apartment he had been living in with his parents.

"Logan?" Kendall asks, knocking on the door.

"Yeah, come in!"

Kendall opens the door and steps inside. The young man has neatly unpacked his few things in nice stacks on the sofa, and he stands with his hands on his hips as he looks things over.

"Feel free to redecorate or anything," Kendall says. "This is your place to live now, so you can do whatever you want to feel comfortable. I want you to work here as long as you can."

"Alright," Logan says. He looks over his shoulder at Kendall and smiles. "I don't see any reason why I can't get a few years here, at least."

"Fantastic," Kendall says with a smile. "I'm glad you're already situated well. Are things really that bad at home?"

"Well, kind of," Logan admits. He sits down on the sofa. "There's always yelling. Mom had an affair and it's just a _mess_."

"I see. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. Out of sight, out of mind; or something like that, huh?"

"Yeah," Kendall laughs a little and looks at the floor. "We've had our share of problems, too."

"Um, Mr. Knight?" Logan asks, his voice suddenly growing timid and quiet.

"Yeah?"

"Do you um, mind if I ask what happened? To your wife, I mean."

"Yeah, that's fine." Kendall chokes down a bit of sadness and sits beside Logan with his elbows on his knees. "Okay, so my wife was a model."

"Wow, really?"

"Yes. Nobody real famous, but she travelled a lot and made pretty good money."

"That's amazing. She must have been beautiful."

"She was," Kendall sighs. "There are pictures around the house. You'll see."

"What do you do, again?" Logan asks.

"I'm a writer," the blond man says. "I think at the end of the day I made more money than Jo, but…" Saying her name suddenly hurts him. She's been dead for only a month, and after the first week he's managed to avoid saying her name.

"Are you alright?" Logan asks when Kendall stops speaking.

"Y-yeah," the widow groans. He bites his lower lip for a second then exhales slowly. "It probably seems funny that, even though I work from home, I need hired help to live with me."

"No I don't think it's funny at all."

"You don't? 'Cause I thought so. The problem is that I really need to be focused when I'm working. See, my wife would go out of town a lot and it was always difficult to take care of Zoe _and _write. I don't want Zoe to feel left out. She's already suffering from losing her mom; she needs to know people really, really care about her."

"I understand," Logan says. "I'll do my very best to make her feel loved."

"That's great. That's, that's really great." Kendall gets up and smiles. "We'll do alright the rest of today, but later on I'll show you around and tomorrow you'll get started. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful. Thank you."


	2. Learn

"Sorry! Sorrysorrysorrysorry!" Logan cries out in embarrassment, covering his face with his hands and Kendall swats smoke out of the way. "I've never used a gas range before."

"It's fine, really. Don't worry about it," Kendall chuckles a bit and flips on the fan over the stove.

"I guess I didn't realize how quickly it would get hot."

"Don't worry," Kendall pats Logan's shoulder, still smiling quite broad. Logan nods though his face is quite red. "We'll just have cereal."

Feeling incompetent, Logan takes the frying pan that's now crusted with burnt pancake and puts it into the sink. He sulks but Kendall keeps telling him not to worry. "You'll adjust."

"Yes, I suppose that's right." The young man takes a scouring pad to the pan and scrubs at it, humming sadly.

Just at that moment, Zoe comes bounding down the stairs and into the kitchen. "Morning daddy!" she cheers.

"There's my big girl! You got out of bed all on your own?" Kendall asks as he takes his daughter in his arms. He sits her up at the table and pats her head.

"Yeah," Zoe says. "All on my own."

Logan looks over his shoulder at the girl and waves. "Good morning, Zoe," he says.

"Morning Miss'r Logan! Did you ruin breakfast?"

"Umm, kind of," Logan sighs.

"No silly, he didn't ruin breakfast," Kendall says. He sits down next to his daughter and puts an elbow on the table. "It just didn't go the way it was supposed to. But it's alright."

"The way it was supposed to," Zoe repeats to herself.

"Logan has a lot of adjusting to do," Kendall tells the girl. "But we're gonna do everything we can to make him feel comfortable, right?"

"Right!" Zoe says.

Breakfast goes well, even though it wasn't what Logan had hoped for. They chat over cold cereal, then Zoe goes to her play room and Kendall gets changed. As Logan is cleaning the bowls, Kendall comes back downstairs in a green satin robe. Logan sees him then quickly looks away.

"I do laps every morning," Kendall says.

"Laps?"

"Yeah. There's a pool downstairs."

"Really?" Logan's eyes widen. He shuts off the tap and leaves the last bowl in the drainer.

"Mhmm. Follow me, I'll show you."

The stairs that go to the upper floor also go down, and Logan follows Kendall as they descend them. The blond man's figure shimmies behind the robe, showing off the sleek curves and angles of his body. Logan tries not to stare.

Downstairs opens up to a large room with a bar, billiards table, sofa and television. Off to the side is a broad glass door that leads to an indoor swimming pool. Logan is blow away.

"This is amazing," he gasps, looking around the room. "And I thought that just upstairs was so huge!"

"Yeah, it was mostly Jo who wanted the big house," Kendall says with a tiny sigh. He passes through the glass door and into the swimming area. Logan follows. "But the pool is a great way to stay in shape," Kendall continues, his voice now echoing off the tile. "I do it every morning. But I sometimes worry about Zoe being alone like that."

"I can get back to her if you want," Logan says.

"Sure," Kendall nods. He drops the robe to the floor and exposes most of his body, save for a thin pair of light blue swim trunks. They hug his waist and are probably a little lower than they could be. Logan does his best to look Kendall in the eyes. The _eyes_.

"I'll get you if I need anything," Logan says quickly.

"Sounds good." Kendall springs off of the side and dives right into the water with a splash. He comes up to the surface and pokes his head out. "If you ever wanna swim just let me know. You're welcome to it. The gym, too."

"There's a gym?" Logan asks in astonishment.

"Yeah, through the door next to the bathroom down here."

"Amazing. Thank you." Logan smiles shyly and leaves. He passes through the big game room and back upstairs. It's incredible how just three people lived in that house. Did it ever feel lonely? Hearing his own footsteps echo so loud through the staircase as he goes to Zoe's room is enough to make him realize how small he is.

"Hi Miss'r Logan," Zoe says when he comes inside. She's fixated on a coloring book that she draws big awkward circles in with a broad red crayon.

"Hey there Zoe, how are you doing?"

"Good! Daddy is swimming."

"Yes, he certainly is." Logan plops down on the floor beside her.

"Daddy loves swimming," Zoe says. Her face is serious as she makes a big loop around the outline of a cat.

"It seems like it. Do you ever swim with him?"

"I swim with mama," the girl says. She drops the crayon and looks up at Logan with sad eyes. "I did swim with mama."

"Oh, I'm sorry I asked," Logan apologizes timidly. He quickly tries to change the subject. "Do you uh, do you like ponies?"

"Yeah!" Zoe perks up. She suddenly gets to her feet and runs over to her bed, which is covered in various stuffed animals. She lifts a black and white horse. "This is Dasher. He is a pony. This one is Dasher."

"Dasher? He's very cute," Logan says.

"And this one is, ummm, this one is…" she drops Dasher and picks up a grey one. It's smaller and fancier looking. "I forget."

"They're very nice. They're all very, very nice."

* * *

"Alright," Logan tells himself. He stands over a pot filled with pork tenderloins, glancing over at a cookbook on the counter. "Two cups of sour cream. Alright. Alright! Hey, that looks pretty good."

He stirs the ingredients around and they begin to thicken, turning a nice orange color from the paprika. The first breakfast may have been a flop, but he's redeemed himself with dinner.

Kendall comes into the kitchen with Zoe in his arms. "Smells great!" Kendall says.

"Thank you," Logan replies with a tiny nod. He shuts off the flame beneath the pot and begins to plate the food.

"That's fantastic, Logan. It looks wonderful." Kendall puts Zoe in her chair then walks to the refrigerator. "Do you want anything to drink? I guess you aren't old enough for alcohol."

"Heheh, no," Logan says with a cute, shy chuckle. He takes two plates and brings them to the table. "I'm fine with water."

"Alright, easy enough."

They all get to the table and sit down. Kendall looks at the food with a big smile on his face. "I could get used to this," he teases. Logan doesn't answer and just smirks coyly.

"Mmm!" Zoe grins after taking her first tiny bite. "Miss'r Logan makes good food."

"Thank you, Zoe," Logan giggles. "I'm happy it turned out so well."

"Yeah, for sure," says Kendall. "Anyway, as I said earlier; if you ever want to swim just let me know. I can watch Zoe for a bit and I'll keep an eye on the camera."

"Camera?"

"I have cameras in every room in the house. Well, except for the bedrooms. Safety, you know."

"That makes sense. In a house this big, you really can't know what's happening without a little technology, right?" Logan smiles and takes a bite of pork. His face lights up when he tastes it.

"Exactly." Kendall sips on a beer and looks away.

* * *

_Smooth lie_, Kendall tells himself after dinner. He's back in his study and Logan is getting Zoe ready for bed without any help today. Of _course _Kendall has cameras in the bedrooms; he has to. Any room with windows has to have some monitoring like that, but it might make Logan uneasy if he knows Kendall can watch him at any moment.

"Mr. Knight?" Logan calls out, knocking on the study door.

"Yeah?"

"She's put down for the evening. It went real well."

"Great," Kendall says, looking at his computer. "Did you tell her that the intercom buzzes your room now, and now mine?"

"Yes, I did."

"Wonderful, thanks. She knows to only use it if it's an emergency though."

"Okay, that's fine. Goodnight, Mr. Knight."

"Night, Logan."

He listens to Logan's footsteps turn away from the door, then he pulls up his security camera program on his computer. He looks at Zoe's room; she's tucked in bed and nice and neat, hugging Dasher and sleeping peacefully already. Just for a second he flips to the guest room camera. Logan is down there already and he takes his shirt off. Kendall turns it off.

_No_, he thinks. _That's totally wrong. It's _so _wrong. So beyond wrong._

The whole reason why Kendall hired a male nanny was that he wouldn't get caught up in any weird romance. He also didn't want Zoe to think it was a replacement mother. Okay, so the latter was the biggest reason. Kendall always had to put Zoe first, which was fine. Everything he did had to be analyzed with her in mind, especially since Jo passed away. Jo…

Kendall goes into the stored files of security footage. They remain in the system for only a week, but right after Jo died, he went in and saved a bunch of them.

Video of Jo making breakfast plays. She scrapes a pan clean of scrambled eggs and brings it to the dinner table, where a blissful Kendall meets her with a kiss. They smile at each other and the video ends.

Kendall plays the next video in line; the two of them playing pool in the basement while Zoe stands idly by with her Lady doll. Jo knocks accident knocks the 8 ball into a pocket and they both start laughing. The clip ends.

Another plays now. It's Jo alone in the bedroom. She's talking into her cellphone and carrying a prescription bottle. Kendall shuts the clip off before it can end and lays his head down on the table. He feels sick inside. How long can he deny himself the truth?


	3. Explore

"JO!"

Kendall shoots awake with his heart racing. Beads of sweat run down his forehead and he gropes around the bed sheets for some kind of reassurance of reality. His heart settles and he checks the clock. It's only three am.

"Oh, my God," he mumbles to himself. His nerves are so rattled that he can't focus on getting back to sleep, so he pretty much as to get up. He rolls out of bed and drapes his robe over his body. It feels cold in the room.

Careful not to wake Zoe or Logan, Kendall tiptoes downstairs and into the kitchen. He takes a bottle of whiskey out from one of the cabinets and pours a shot. He downs it quickly and pours another.

"Damn," he mumbles under his breath, but his word is countered by another voice.

"Mr. Knight?"

Kendall turns around in an instant and sees Logan standing in the threshold to the kitchen.

"Sorry," Logan says quietly. "I heard someone up and I worried."

"It's cool. Thanks for checking it out."

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Kendall lies but the swirling of his whiskey in the glass makes it obvious. Logan has been working there for a week now, and Kendall has told him very little more about his personal life.

"Are you sure?" Logan asks, taking a few steps closer.

"Well, funny you should ask," Kendall says with a sad smile. He finishes the drink and puts the glass on the counter, then turns his back to it and folds his arms. "Just been thinking about my wife."

"Sorry," Logan whispers.

"You don't need to apologize. It's not _your _fault."

Logan walks up to Kendall quite close now and puts his back against the counter, too. He looks at the blond man in the darkness of the night.

"You say that like it's somebody else's fault," Logan says.

"Mmm, right," Kendall mutters. He decides to pour himself yet another shot. "You want anything? Nobody will care if you have a little alcohol here. You aren't going anywhere."

"That's okay, but thank you," Logan smiles and blushes a bit. He stands there awkwardly for a moment, then clears his throat and says, "Well, anyway. If everything is fine then I'll go back to bed now."

"Sleep well," Kendall sighs. He watches Logan go back to his room then takes another sip of his drink. The kitchen is lonely.

* * *

"I think your daddy would like sleeping a little later today," Logan tells Zoe as he gets her out of bed.

"Why?" she asks in a tiny, tired voice.

"He was up very late last night."

"Ohh."

Zoe walks past Logan and heads off to her bathroom. Logan helps her brush her teeth and get dressed, then they go downstairs and start on breakfast together.

"What do you feel like eating?"

"I don't knoooow," Zoe hums. Logan sits her up into her chair and she balls up her fists, making an innocent face. "I don't knooow."

"How about um," Logan swishes over to the fridge and swings it open. Glancing over the selection, he names a few things and Zoe decides on eggs. They need to go shopping soon.

After Logan fries up a few eggs and sits down at the table with the girl, Kendall grumpily comes down the steps in his robe.

"Good morning Mr. Knight," Logan says with a smile.

"HI DADDY!" Zoe yells. Kendall winces and mumbles something indeterminable.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Logan asks.

"No." Kendall groans and keeps going down to the basement. "I'm gonna swim," he calls out as he takes the steps.

Logan looks back at Zoe and chuckles. "You think we should go swim with him?"

"Yeah," Zoe agrees.

"You do?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright. You have a bathing suit, right?"

"Yup."

They finish up eating and go to get changed. Zoe puts on a little pink one-piece and Logan changes into swim trunks. Together they go into the basement and through the glass doors to the swimming pool. Kendall is doing laps, but stops and comes to the edge when they walk through.

"What are you two up to?" Kendall asks with a big smile. He looks over Logan's body with a bit of guilt; the young man has a gorgeous shape, without a doubt. There's something funny on his tummy but he can't quite tell what it is.

"We thought it would be nice to join you," says Logan.

"Sounds fun, come on in."

Zoe toddles off to one side of the pool where she has an inflatable inner tube. She holds it awkwardly then hands it to Logan.

"Is this yours?" the boy asks.

"Yeah!" Zoe excitedly tells him.

"Just plop it into the water and slip her in the middle," Kendall says. Logan nods and does so.

"Hi daddy," Zoe says when she's safely supported in the inner tube. She flails her legs about and floats closer to her father, who smiles real big and splashes around her. Then Logan gets in the water, too.

"You uh," Kendall starts, looking at Logan awkwardly. "Do you have a navel piercing?"

"Yeah," Logan admits. "Is that okay?"

"I don't really care. It's just different, that's all. I've never seen a guy with one before."

"I got it on my 18th birthday. I thought it was cool." Logan's face lights up at the idea of Kendall looking at his body. He treads water in his hands and paddles over to the edge of the pool, where he supports himself by his elbows.

"It's…different," Kendall says with a smile. He turns back to Zoe and tugs on the inner tube. "Wanna come out to the deep end, sweetie?"

"Yeah!" Zoe giggles and claps her hand as Kendall starts to tow her across the pool. Logan stays against the side of the pool and watches them thoughtfully.

After a little while of swimming, Zoe starts to get tired so they all get out of the water. Kendall gives her a bath then lets her have a little nap. Once the girl is out, Kendall comes down to the kitchen where Logan is tidying up and starting to plan lunch.

"She's a handful, but definitely a lot of fun," Logan tells him.

"Yep. That's true." Kendall folds his arms and walks over to the stove. Logan puts a pot down on one of the burners.

"I think we're getting a long well," Logan says.

"You are. She likes you as whole lot." The blond clears his throat. "Uh, say Logan, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"It's been a week now, and this whole time I haven't noticed you having friends or anything. Are there people in your life at all?"

"Yeah, I have a few friends." Logan takes a pack of chicken breasts out of the fridge and sets them on the counter. "When I graduated high school, they all moved away to college and stuff. I was the only one that was left, so I still talk to them but I rarely see them."

"Ohh, I see," Kendall says, nodding. He watches Logan as he peels back the plastic on the chicken, takes a piece out and slices it into strips on a cutting board.

"It doesn't bother me," Logan tells him, cutting the meat with a sweet smile. "I mean, if that's what you're asking."

"I guess. I don't know. It just seems unusual."

"Well maybe I am a little unusual." Logan glances at Kendall through the corner of his eyes.

"Unusual in a good way, though," Kendall adds. "A very good way."

"Thanks."

"So when's lunch?"


	4. Watch

The next few nights are just as sleepless. Nightmares of Jo haunt Kendall and keep him from getting more than an hour or so at a time. It's making it difficult for him to focus on writing and that is _bad_.

He stays up one night looking through photo albums in his study. They start with Zoe's birth and go up until three months before Jo died. He flips through page after page, staring at the pictures of Jo that lifelessly stare back at him. It's been so hard to face it. So hard to face what really happened.

"Why didn't you tell me," Kendall whispers to the photo album. He doesn't expect an answer but it feels better somehow to talk at it. "I could've helped you."

Kendall closes his eyes and sighs to himself as he runs a finger across a picture of Jo. A soft shiver runs through his hand and he does his best to keep tears withheld.

_Zoe has a doctor's appointing tomorrow, that's right_. A random thought pops into his head and completely distracts him from his reminiscing. She has a check-up and it's probably best if Logan takes her. Kendall checks the time, a little after 9, and agrees to himself that it's still early enough to ask him. He puts on his robe and goes down to the guest room.

"Logan? Are you—"

Kendall knocks on the door and he hears a jump and a scream inside. "Just a second!" Logan calls out nervously. It sounds like he moves around very quickly then runs up to the door. He opens it just enough to stick his head out. "Hey. Sorry."

"It's alright," Kendall says, raising an eyebrow. "Didn't mean to bother you. But I just remembered Zoe has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Do you think you could take her?"

"Oh, but Mr. Knight, I don't have a car."

"You have a license right?"

"Of course."

"You can take one of my cars."

"Are you _sure_?" Logan's eyes widen at the proposal.

"Yeah sure. If I trust you with my kid I can trust you with my car." Kendall chuckles a bit to himself. Logan clears his throat and nods.

"Alright," the younger guy says. "What time?"

"She needs to be there at 11:15."

"No problem."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll leave you the address with my keys. Sorry to bug ya. Sleep well." Kendall steps back from the guest room door and waves gently. Logan smiles, withdraws his head and closes the door.

_Well that was weird_, Kendall thinks to himself, heading back to his study. _Was Logan…no. _

Curiosity gets the best of him tonight and he can't help but peek in the camera system. He locks the door to his study and sits down at his computer.

_This is wrong…_

He pulls up the backlog for a few minutes before he knocked on the door. His heart flutters with nervousness, knowing how terrible his actions are. Is it even legal? Sure, Logan is living in his house, but he's entitled to a certain amount of privacy. Kendall tries not to think about it. What if he suspected Logan was doing something he shouldn't? Wouldn't the resulting actions be the same?

The video clip shows Logan sitting down on the bed with his laptop. He types a few things then sits back, smiling. Kendall shakes his head. _Nothing_, he thinks. But just when he speaks too soon, Logan brings his right hand down to the crotch of his pants.

_Ohh, god_, Kendall gasps in his head. He should turn the video off now. He should really, _really _turn it off. This kid is ten years younger than him and _working _for him. He takes care of his _daughter_. What sort of creep does it make Kendall to look at this shit?

Logan rubs the outside of his pajama pants, keeping is eyes fixed on the computer. Kendall can't see the screen from the angle of the camera, but he assumes it's porn or something.

Kendall's breathing grows heavy as he keeps watching Logan. To a certain extent, the whole thing is even more exciting because of the dirty nature of it.

"Take it out," Kendall whispers to himself. He can't even believe that he's thinking like this, but he is and there's no stopping it.

Almost as if the recording can hear him, Logan pops the button on his fly and pulls a nice, firm dick out of his pants. Kendall's eyes widen and he wets his lips, unable to look away.

Logan starts to jerk himself off. He rolls his head back on his shoulders and his lips separate, likely with a moan. Kendall curses himself for not buying the security system with audio. It's still sexy. Logan is sexy.

"Oh my God," Kendall says out loud. He stares beyond the screen. "Logan is sexy."

Before he can get carried away, the part where recorded Kendall knocks on the bedroom door comes and Logan jumps, scampers to get his privates put away and runs out of view.

Kendall is left sitting in his chair with a blank expression on his face. This is bad. This is very bad. He can't be attracted to his daughter's young, male nanny!

But he is so sexy. Is just is so sexy. That thin, pasty body with the little stud pierced in his belly. His cute, sweet face; Kendall can't resist.

_Shit._

His own hand has fallen down into his lap now. Kendall has a big fat hard on and he certainly can't deny it. He sighs once, feeling even dirtier than before, but takes his cock out anyway and starts to jerk off.

It occurs to him that Logan is probably on camera masturbating a lot. He's a teen boy, for crying out loud; even though he's a real sweet guy, it's absolutely not the first time he's done it.

Kendall digs into the video files. He pulls up footage from the night before. It rolls by as an empty bedroom for a few minutes, but then Logan walks in. He's just taken a shower and he's only wearing a towel around his waist.

"Good God," Kendall chokes on those words, slowly rubbing his fist up and down his throbbing erection. Logan turns away from the camera and drops the towel, showing off his bubble butt. Kendall jerks faster, grunting to himself. "Fucking shit, man."

Video Logan lies down on the bed, completely naked, driving Kendall wild. Why does this boy have to be so good looking? Kendall has _never _thought anything male to be sexy before. What's this all about?

Logan starts masturbating again, but he doesn't just jerk his dick. He spreads his legs and touches his asshole.

"Oh, fuck," Kendall gasps. He squeezes his dick and feels a deep throb in the base of it. What the heck is Logan doing?

The young boy closes his eyes and opens his mouth with a tiny smile. His right hand furiously pistons up and down on his cock, while the other one pushes inside his pucker with one finger. Kendall's breathing gets short as he studies him. It's so sexy. It's just…

So…

Fucking…

Sexy.

This is the first time Kendall's thought about men touching their own assholes. Maybe before the idea might be gross, but seeing Logan do it makes it really fucking appealing.

The boy shoots a thin load onto his abs and Kendall cries out loud. As he watches Logan take a tissue and clean himself up, Kendall gasps his way to orgasms. His cum sprays out on the desk and he moans.

"Ohh God," Kendall sighs. "Logan, why do you do this to me."

He shuts off the computer and tries to make himself feel cleaner, but to no avail. Shuddering at his horrible peeping experience, Kendall goes off to bed and climbs beneath the covers. It might be shameful, but sleep finally takes him under its wing for the entire night.


	5. Tell

**short and not real good, sorry. next chapter will be better I promise :)**

It's a little embarrassing to see Logan face to face the following day, so Kendall leaves the doctor's address and his car keys out on the table for him. Being the nice guy he is, Logan knocks on Kendall's study door regardless to tell him they're leaving.

"Yeah sorry, I'm really in the middle of something," Kendall says. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Bye!"

"Bye."

Logan can scratch _driving a Bentley _off of his bucket list after today. Now he doesn't really care, but it's a cool experience and he feels important as he takes Zoe to the doctor.

The appointment goes well and there isn't much to say about it; the more interesting story is back home with Kendall. As much as he tries to focus on writing, the image of nude Logan pleasuring himself just won't leave his head. He forces his fingers onto the keys and does his best to hash through the next chapter of his novel. It's _impossible_. All he can do is close his eyes and imagine Logan, knuckle deep within his own asshole.

"I'll just watch it once more," Kendall says to himself. He minimizes the word processor and pulls up the security camera files. "Just for a second."

The clip from last night plays, where Logan looks at the computer then starts to wank his cock. He's so god damn beautiful. How did Kendall get this lucky? Maybe it's not luck. Maybe it's a curse.

His eyes stare at Logan's hard cock and he wets his lips. _Is _Logan gay? It's a legitimate question. The boy is interested in being a nanny, he clearly enjoys anal pleasure, he's got a navel piercing and the list goes on and on. Kendall wonders what he's watching on the computer. If only the camera were at a different angle.

"He'll be gone for another hour at least," Kendall considers aloud. "I could…no…it's wrong. But, I could…"

His curiosity is overwhelming and added with the sick satisfaction he gets from peeping, he quickly decides that he will, indeed, move the camera. Feeling wrong but slightly turned on, Kendall gets up and goes down to the guest room. He turns the knob and walks inside. Logan's few things are arranged so nice and neat.

Kendall goes to the bedroom and walks inside like a burglar. His feet move slow and silently across the soft carpet, glancing in a way that shows how guilty he feels. Either way, he takes the tiny hidden camera out from its secret spot and finds a new one for it. He wants the see the screen of Logan's computer, but he needs a good view of the boy as well. It's terrible, but Kendall gives into his dark desire and leaves the camera for a better shot.

A little while later, Logan comes home with Zoe. She's happy to see her dad and Kendall takes a much needed break from writing.

"You want to play something?" he asks the girl.

"Yeah!" Zoe nods. She zooms upstairs to her room, beckoning her father to follow.

"Alright. I'm coming, I'm coming. Logan you can relax for a while."

The young man nods and smiles. "Thank you," he tells Kendall quietly and heads to his room. Kendall swallows stiffly and follows his daughter.

"Did you have fun at the doctor?"

"I guess," Zoe mumbles. She starts to pull different dolls out of an open storage bin.

"Was Logan nice to you?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you like Logan?"

"Yeah! Logan is funny, daddy."

"Good, good," Kendall lays on his stomach and takes up one of the dolls. Zoe snatches it away and starts to make her walk across the ground.

"Logan is a good mama," Zoe says rather nonchalantly. Kendall blinks.

"Baby girl," he says. "He's not a mama. He's just a friend; just a nanny."

"Oh, okay."

* * *

"Show me, Logan, show me."

Kendall hunches over his computer with his eyes wide open, watching as his hired help undresses. He pulls off his shirt then steps out of his pants, wearing only clingy black boxer briefs. Kendall bites his lower lip and stares. He's got it bad and it's sick, so sick but so good. It's amazing how Kendall converses with Logan during the day, yet at night he peeps so naughtily. Kendall is very bad.

"Come on…"

Logan sits down on the bed and flips open his laptop. Kendall waits impatiently as it boots up. What's he going to look at? What's he going to do?

Logan opens up a browser window and turns on a porn site. _Gay porn_. Well, it was pretty obvious all along so it comes as no surprise.

The shape of two guys making out plays by on the laptop and Logan watches it with a smile grin. He begins to rub the outside of his underpants, showing off a growing bulge.

"Come on, baby," Kendall whispers. He stares, eyes wide open, as Logan pulls his cock out of his boxer briefs. The young guy makes long, slow strokes up and down the shaft, watching the porn play out on the screen. Kendall masturbates now, too. He whips his dick into the air and jerks off furiously. "Oh Logan, Logan." He moans to himself and keeps eying Logan. They climax at the same time.

* * *

"You wanna hang out with daddy today?"

"Yeah!"

"Wanna go somewhere?"

"Yeah!"

"Where?"

"I dunno."

Kendall laughs. "Alright, alright. Well I'll come up with something. Why don't you keep watching TV while I get ready?"

"Okay, daddy." Zoe grins like a cheeky monkey and runs off to the TV room. Kendall sighs happily and goes over to Logan's room. He knocks on the door.

"Hey, Logan?"

"Yes Mr. Knight?"

"You can take the day off. I'll be with Zoe."

"Oh, okay." The door opens and Logan sticks his head out, smiling. Kendall looks away. "Thank you, Mr. Knight."

"Don't mention it," Kendall tells him quickly. He smiles at the floor and walks to the TV room. "Zoe? You ready, baby girl?"

"Daddy?" Zoe asks as she gets up from her little TV watching chair. She teeters over to her father and latches onto his leg.

"What is it, Zoe?"

The girl's eyes open real wide. "Logan can come with us?" she asks in an innocent tone.

"You want Logan to come with us? How come?"

"I like Logan."

"Good," Kendall says with a stiff swallow. "But Logan need a little day off."

"Why?"

"Because he's working hard."

"Why?"

"He needs the money and he loves the job."

"Why?"

"Baby, just ask Logan. I don't know. Let's go somewhere."

"I want Logan with us," Zoe insists. Kendall touches her head softly, then takes her hand and tries to lead her away from the TV.

"Don't you want just daddy and you?" They start to walk to the front door, where Kendall takes up Zoe's little shoes.

"I want Logan with us," the girl says.

"Baby come on," Kendall sighs. He starts to put his daughter's shoes on. "Logan needs to relax. Wouldn't you rather just have me?"

"I want mama and daddy."

Kendall stops moving his hands and stares blankly. "Uh," he mumbles. "Zoe, we talked about this. Mama isn't coming back."

"No," Zoe insists. She stomps her feet on the ground and folds her arms, pouting. "Mama _Logan_."


	6. Reveal

Cheeks bright red and tears rolling down them, Zoe starts to have a temper tantrum. She cries loudly, insisting that "Logan come with us!"

"Hey, baby girl come on," Kendall does his best to coax her. He scoops her up in his arms and she cries into the crook of his neck. He's seen her cry a million times but it's still painful each time. "Logan needs some time to relax. Just have fun with daddy today."

"I-I-I want to see L-L-L-Logan," Zoe tearfully insists.

With a heavy sigh, Kendall holds her tight and asks "Would it help if we say bye to him?" Zoe doesn't answer and just whimpers against her father. He sighs, again, but with a smile this time, and then they go over to Logan's room. Before Kendall can knock, Logan opens it.

"I heard Zoe crying. Everything okay?"

"Trying to give you the day off, but she doesn't wanna do anything without you."

"Awww, Zoe," Logan sweet-talks to the little girl. A tender smile spreads on his face. "Wouldn't you rather be with your daddy all day?"

"Both," Zoe pouts. "Mama." Kendall turns bright red, but Logan sighs very sadly.

"Zoe," the nanny says, extending his hand the girl and lightly touching her cheek. "Sorry, but your mama isn't coming back."

Zoe smiles, despite what Logan would expect, and wraps her little hand around his fingers. Kendall looks away shyly, clears his throat and mumbles, "She thinks you're her new mama."

"What?" Logan asks to clarify.

"She thinks you're her new mama," Kendall repeats awkwardly. Logan's eyes widen and he suddenly blushes.

"Logan _is _my new mama!" Zoe insists cheerfully, but then men have both fallen silent.

"Come on baby girl," Kendall tells his daughter in soft tone. "Let's go out, okay?"

* * *

Zoe cheers up. She always does. But Kendall can't shake this misconception about "mama" Logan. Now he feels like an asshole because he did everything he could to keep Zoe from getting confused like that. _Great_.

Either way, they manage to have a nice day out and Logan enjoys some alone time. They come home later in the day, already having had dinner, and Zoe goes to bed early. Kendall puts her to sleep and tries to work through this issue once more.

"Zoe," he tells her, being nice but also trying to get his point across solid. "Logan is just your friend. He loves you and takes care of you, but he _isn't _your new mama. You only have one mama, okay?"

"Okay, daddy," the little girl says with a sigh. She snuggles into her blanket and closes her eyes. "Story?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart." Kendall goes over to the little bookshelf by the bed and pulls out her favorite, _Stellaluna. _

"In a warm and sultry forest, far far away, there once lived a mother fruit bat…" He barely gets into the book and little Zoe is fast asleep. Kendall kisses her forehead softly and whispers, "good night, sweetie."

He leaves the door open a little as usual and goes downstairs to the kitchen. His feet slide across the smooth tile as he heads to the fridge. A couple bites of mixed melon will feel real good before bedtime.

A soft thud and a muted clink get Kendall set up for his snack, but before he has the first bite, another set of footsteps slide in.

"Mr. Knight?"

Kendall looks up and sees Logan standing shyly in the doorway to the kitchen. He's wearing snug pajama bottoms and a thin white t-shirt. It's undeniably cute, and his pale skin almost glows in the evening light.

"Hey," Kendall says quietly, just before popping a chunk of watermelon in his mouth.

"Is Zoe feeling better?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Sorry about that. It's pretty inappropriate for her to call you her," Kendall swallows stiffly. "Call you her mama."

"It's okay," Logan answers quickly. "She doesn't know what she's saying."

"You're right," Kendall agrees, nodding. He eats another piece of melon and offers some to Logan. "Want any?"

"No thanks."

"A drink or something?"

Logan shakes his head and just stands there, folding his arms and looking a bit sad. "She was really attached to Mrs. Knight, wasn't she?"

"Yeah, no kidding," Kendall sighs. He claps the lid pack on the fruit and returns it to the fridge, then gets his usual whiskey out and pours a shot. "Sure you're good?"

"Yes, but thank you."

Kendall presses his lips together and puts the liquor away. He swirls the drink around in its glass and watches it glow in the dim light of the kitchen. "She was a really amazing mother."

"I bet. It sounds like she was a wonderful person."

"She was," Kendall says stiffly. He takes a quick sip and glances over the glass to Logan. "I just wish, she, ah…"

"Mr. Knight?" Logan asks in a tiny voice. He sees the older man growing red in the eyes and senses a deeper pain. "How did she die?"

Kendall moans uncomfortably to himself and finishes the drink. He turns his back to the kitchen counter and touches up against it.

"I don't mean to pry," Logan begins timidly. "B-but I looked it up, and the best I could find was that they weren't entirely sure. Did she um…did she kill herself?"

"I think so," Kendall says very, very quickly. His voice is heavy and breathy as he starts to really tear up. "There were signs. I didn't see them. I had no idea. I wish I…I wish…"

Kendall starts to break down and cry, curling into his own arms and visibly hurt in his face. Logan immediately jumps forward and hugs him. He wraps himself around Kendall's waist and puts his head onto his chest. Any feeling of embarrassment or shame from his ongoing peeping problem is washed away, and Kendall hugs Logan back. His body is so warm and tender, he clings tightly and keeps crying.

"It's not your fault," Logan whispers. "The only person who can stop suicide is that person themselves. It's not your fault."

They embrace in silence for a few moments. Kendall's sniffing subsides but his grip around the younger man stays steady.

"I guess," Kendall whispers. "I guess you're right."

"I know I am," Logan says.

"Why's that?"

"Because I had a friend that killed herself."

Kendall lets go of Logan and looks down at him. His lips separate and he wrinkles his forehead. "You did?"

"Mhm."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Logan says with a little shrug. His cute face crinkles into a sad smile. "It was three years ago, and I'm getting over it. But I wondered the same thing as you."

"Ohh," Kendall hums. "Well I'm glad you're getting over it."

"Uh huh." Logan finally releases himself from Kendall and blushes. "Sorry for the hug. It just sorta happened."

"Don't worry, it helped." Kendall looks away and bites his lower lip. Logan is just so sugary sweet. "It helped a lot. Thanks, Logan. You're such a good guy."

"I do my best," Logan grins. "Anyway, I'm going to bed. Sleep well, Mr. Knight."

"Good night."


	7. Slip

The sweetness that Logan showed Kendall makes him guilt trip even more. The boy was just so _kind _and amazing that he can't bring himself to keep peeping. Kendall feels terrible about it, but thinking about Jo's death continues to preoccupy his mind.

He stays up until three am one night, looking over newspaper clippings he's saved from that terrible night. The general consensus was that she overdosed on painkillers in her hotel room. One of the detectives on the case speculates that it was an accident, but when Kendall considers everything he can't deny what really happened.

She had been taking a lot of medication. Kendall didn't think twice about it. Every so often, Jo would comment that her therapy was going well. Not even in his wildest dreams did Kendall imagine there was a problem. She said that raising Zoe and still working hard was a lot for her, and she needed to see a therapist and takes occasional medication to keep her on her toes. She was a superb mother and raised Zoe well, so Kendall had no reason to think anything was wrong. But there was.

Kendall closes his eyes and remembers how it went down; the phone call, the crying, the resistance to believe and inevitably accepting it. Then of course telling everyone else and arranging the funeral, not to mention explaining it to Zoe.

But after they told him it was an overdose, Kendall started to go through Jo's belongings. He found drugs. A lot of drugs. All legal and all prescribed, but why did she need that many? Apparently she had been doctor shopping, since many of the bottles had different doctors. He told himself, over and over, that he should have followed up on her therapy more. He should have taken her, seen how many doctors she had. They could have talked. They could have worked it out…

Kendall has made it a habit of having a drink late at night to calm his nerves and forget about reality. He sneaks down the heavy staircase and slides into kitchen to have a shot or two or three of whiskey. It's painful. _So _painful.

An old fashioned glass is set onto the counter and a stream of amber calming juice flows delicately into it. Kendall stares down at the drink and sighs heavily. He wonders if Jo was drinking a lot.

"How many times am I going to come down and see you here?"

Kendall looks up from his drink and sees Logan standing there. He has a sassy smirk on his face.

"Probably a lot," Kendall says with a halfhearted smile. He takes a small sip of the whiskey and shows his teeth.

"Jo? Is it Jo?" Logan asks, taking a few steps closer to the counter. Kendall tips his eyes to the drink once more, nodding, but stays silent. "Maybe I'll take you up on your offer."

"What offer?"

"Having a drink."

"Oh! S-sure." Kendall sets his glass on the counter and takes a clean one. "Whiskey?"

"I guess," says Logan. He walks right up to Kendall and watches him fumble around with a tall bottle of Seagram's. "I'm not really an alcohol drinker."

"Ah, well it's pretty heavy stuff." Whiskey bubbles out into the new glass and settles serenely. Kendall takes it and hands it off to Logan, raising his eyebrows. "Give it a try."

Logan takes a tiny sip and winces. "OOF!" he shouts and closes his eyes real tight. Air sucks in between his teeth. "It's strong!"

"Like it?"

"It's, umm, it's okay," Logan giggles. He takes another drink and swallows it with some burning difficulty. "But I like it alright. Thank you."

"Don't make it a habit," Kendall says. He finishes his own drink and pours another. "So why do you come down here when I'm up?"

"I hear someone and I get worried."

"That's sweet," Kendall mumbles. "You don't have to worry about that, but I really appreciate it."

"And you probably don't mind having someone to talk to, right?"

"Yeaaah."

"You'll be hurting about your wife for the rest of your life, but you can't let it ruin what you have left."

Kendall smiles at his helper, nodding slowly. "Yeah," he agrees. "You're right. How'd you become so smart so young?"

"It happens," Logan smiles and shrugs. "I dunno." He finishes the drink with a little struggle and Kendall refills it. "You have some every night, don't you?"

"Uh, yeah," Kendall admits. "Why do you ask?"

"It just seems like it."

"Oh…"

"I think it's fine."

"It's the only way I can sort of calm my mind. If not, I lay awake all night with my thoughts buzzing around. I can't…oh God, Logan. I'm sorry." Kendall sets his glass down and puts his face into his hands. He starts to cry. "I just want her back so bad. Or, or at least tell her I'm sorry. I feel like if I had paid a little more attention to her, I could've stopped it."

Logan downs the whiskey then springs into Kendall's arms. He hugs him real tight and smiles, cheeks bright red from the slight intoxication. Kendall blinks a few times.

"Don't blame yourself," Logan whispers. "I told you before. It's not your fault."

"Even if you're right," Kendall sighs, returning the hug with full force. "I'll always wonder."

"I don't blame you. I mean, when my friend died, it was still just a friend. I can't imagine losing my partner."

"I wish she was still here for _Zoe_. I can get over this pain, but I don't know how Zoe will."

"She's strong. She'll be fine."

"Yeah…" Kendall whispers against the top of Logan's head.

"Mr. Knight?" Logan looks up slowly. His eyes are wide open and seem to sparkle with the tiny bits of light in the dark kitchen.

"Hm?" Kendall inhales deeply. Their eyes lock and they stare at each other for a moment. They both know what's going to happen, but Logan makes the first move; he closes his eyes, slowly leans up and presses his lips to Kendall's. Kendall brings his hands up to Logan's face and kisses him back, just lip to lip and no tongue. Then Logan withdraws and looks away.

"I-I'm sorry…"

"About what?" Kendall whispers, but Logan lets go and runs off to his room.

"Hey, wait!" He follows him as quickly and quietly as possible. Logan closes the door before Kendall gets there. "Logan, open the door. I'm not mad."

"It's the alcohol," Logan whimpers. It's obvious that he's sitting with his back against the door. "I didn't mean it."

Kendall places his palm on the door and presses his nose against it as well. He breathes heavily with his mouth curved in an odd smile. "It's fine. I don't mind."

A loud sigh can be heard within. "It's wrong," insists Logan.

"No. Logan. Can you open the door please?"

Reluctantly, Logan slowly opens the door just a crack. He looks through with a sad face, but Kendall peeks in and tries to smile at him.

"It's fine," Kendall says once more.

"I work for you, Mr. Knight," Logan laments. "I take care of your kid. I can't…I can't fall in love with you."

"Fall in love with me?" Kendall asks with a short gasp. Logan lets the door open a little more and Kendall gets his whole head through, trying to inch his way in more. "One little kiss means you're falling in love with me?"

"Oh, gosh. Mr. Knight, I'm so sorry," Logan whimpers. He folds his arms, getting small, and starts to walk backwards into his room. He looks horrifically embarrassed. "I want to forget about it."

"I'm not gonna forget," Kendall say. "But, well, get some sleep and we'll discuss this tomorrow. How does that sound?"

Logan shakes his head and he bites his lower lip. "I-I don't know."

"Logan, I'm not mad. Don't worry, okay? Have a good night." He closes Logan's door for him and goes up to his own bedroom. _Can't fall in love with me?_


	8. Share

"Morning, Logan."

Kendall comes down to the kitchen in his robe after sleeping in pretty late. Logan is at the stove, cooking pancakes while Zoe gazes longingly from her chair. Her father pecks a kiss on the top of her head then goes to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"M-morning, Mr. Knight," Logan answers very timidly, keeping his eyes fixed on pouring batter into the griddle. It hisses as it hits the hot surface and pancakes start to cook.

"Sleep alright?" Kendall asks. He stirs a bit of _Sugar in the Raw _in his coffee and smiles at the boy, but Logan ignores him, looking embarrassed.

"Y-yeah."

Kendall clears his throat and leans into Logan just a bit. He quietly tells him, "Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay…"

The blond tries to smile, then takes his coffee and goes over to the table. "How did you sleep, baby girl?" he asks his daughter.

"Good. Did daddy?"

"Daddy slept alright," Kendall swallows his feelings and sits back, taking a sip of hot coffee. Zoe purses her lips together and smiles strangely at her father, like she knows something that he doesn't. "What's up?" Kendall asks, but Zoe just shakes her head, giggling.

Logan finishes up the pancakes and brings them over to table. He takes a seat after serving everyone and starts to eat meekly.

"It's cool," Kendall says in Logan's direction. "And thanks."

They eat, but Logan is very quiet and winces every time Kendall tries talking to him. It's a little awkward, but it really doesn't have to be. Trying to be respectful, Kendall goes along and engages Zoe instead.

"Are you gonna be good and play with Logan today?"

"Yeah!"

"Daddy has a lot of work to do. He needs to go see his publisher and do a few errands."

"Okay, good. Bye!"

"I'm not leaving _just _yet, sweetheart." Kendall chuckles and takes his last bite of breakfast. He thanks Logan for the food then gets ready to head out. "Should be home in a few hours."

"Alright," Logan blankly peeps to Kendall from the sink, now tidying the dishes. Kendall smiles sadly and watches the boy washing dishes and leaves through the front door.

* * *

"I love you, Logan," Zoe smiles up at her nanny as he puts her down for an afternoon nap. She takes hers stuffed cow in her arms and snuggles into the pillow.

"I love you too, Zoe. Sleep well." Logan gets up from the side of her bed and goes to shut the curtains.

"Do you love daddy?" Zoe asks. Logan freezes in his steps.

"What's that?"

"Do you love daddy?" Her voice is simply innocent. Logan looks back at her and wrinkles his forehead up.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"'Cause you love daddy."

"Zoe, you shouldn't worry about that stuff. Okay?"

"Okay, Logan." Zoe sneers and closes her eyes. "You should tell daddy."

Logan looks at her, thins his lips, then finishes closing the curtains and leaves with the door open just slightly. As he goes downstairs to his room, Kendall comes home from his errands. "Hey Logan, how's it going?"

"Fine. Just put Zoe down for a nap."

"Great, great. Thanks." Kendall locks the door from the inside and heads into the kitchen, where he draws himself a glass of water and sips it slowly. Logan stands in front of the door to his room and sighs loudly.

"Um, Mr. Knight?"

"Yeah?" Kendall walks into the foyer and watches Logan, who faces away from him, glancing down. He pauses for a moment, then heads inside his room.

"Never mind."

* * *

Mild temperatures during the day give way to a pleasant evening. Everyone goes to bed early, even Kendall who can't sleep. He leaves the television on and he sits up in bed with a hot toddy. About an hour of mindless animated sitcoms and he's nodding off, but all the craziness of his life lately still keeps him up.

_Knock knock._

"Mr. Knight?"

"Yeah, come in." Kendall talks over his warm drink and the door opens slowly. Logan steps in wearing pajama bottoms and a snug t-shirt. His face is frumpy and he looks sad. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry about what happened last night," Logan says sheepishly, grasping at his own arm with the opposing hand.

"I _told _you. It's fine. Really."

"Why are you so alright with it?" The younger boy asks as his fair cheeks brighten up.

"Because it's not a big deal. We're both adults."

Logan starts to take slow steps towards Kendall's bed. The TV continues to play some stupid adult cartoon.

"Are you sure?" Logan asks as if he really isn't sure himself.

"Yeah, c'mon," Kendall nods and puts his drink down. "We're human. Stuff happens."

"But I work for you."

"So? I didn't pay you to kiss me. You did it on your own term."

"Oh, I see." Logan keeps stepping closer until he gets to the edge of the bed. Kendall swallows stiffly and folds his arms.

"Anything else on your mind?" the older guy asks, sucking in his cheeks in anticipation.

"Maybe, kinda," Logan hums. He looks upwards and bites his lower lip, resulting in a totally cute face. Kendall can't help but smile.

"Logan, do you want to stay in my bed?" Kendall blurts out. It isn't a well thought out question, but he has wanted to say it for a while. Maybe Logan's response will be bad, but it's a risk Kendall finds worth taking.

"O-okay," Logan says in a very tiny voice. "N-now?"

"Yeah, come on in. It's way nicer than the one in the guest room." Kendall pulls back the covers and Logan shyly climbs inside. He stay to the one side and looks at the nightstand. There's a glass bowl with rings in it, a ladies' watch and a wine glass that has one drop left, dried for a long while.

Trying to distract himself, he asks Kendall, "Is this Jo's stuff?"

"I haven't moved anything," Kendall sighs.

"Pretty jewelry."

"It's been hard to have nobody in the bed with me."

"I bet," Logan peeps. He lies back and looks over at Kendall, who is settling in with a smile on his face.

"I'm glad you're here."

Logan blushes harder and stutters. "M-me, too."

"Come here," Kendall coos. He holds his arms open for Logan to come home, and with a little bit of hesitation, he climbs over and relaxes against his chest. They embrace and hold onto each other with warm tenderness.

"It's nice here," Logan whispers.

"Uh huh. It is." Kendall's slender arms curl around Logan's back and hold him close. "Logan…"

"Hm?" the younger of them is starting to feel at home.

"You're beautiful."

"What?"

"I've been trying to find the right word to describe you, and honestly I think you're beautiful."

Logan giggles. "Thanks," he whispers. "I appreciate that. You're a…you're a very handsome man, yourself."

"I do what I can." Kendall smirks. Then he takes his arms and pulls Logan up to his face. The younger stares at him innocently. "Kiss me," Kendall whispers. Logan says nothing but does as he's told. Their lips meet with a long awaited desire and smack together loudly. Logan moans into the kiss and Kendall holds him firmly to his chest.

"M-Mr. Knight," Logan mumbles.

"Just call me Kendall, okay?"

"O-okay. Um. Kendall?"

"Mhm?" The blond's green eyes sparkle in the light of the television, smiling and looking upon Logan with utter adoration.

"I-I love you, Kendall."

"That's sweet, Logan," Kendall says. He kisses the boy on the lips once more. "I had a feeling you did."

"You're such a wonderful guy," Logan continues to explain. His hands shakily come up to Kendall's face and touch him lightly. "You're strong and such a great dad. Your daughter is amazing and I just…aahh…I can't believe I'm falling for you."

"It's fine," Kendall says, smoothing Logan's dark hair back. "I'll say it a million times. _It's fine_."

Logan finally gets some relief in his words and he settles into Kendall comfortably. The TV is switched off and they sleep. Yes, Kendall sleeps.


	9. Accept

It's the best sleep Kendall has had since Jo passed away. Logan's warm body cuddles against his chest all night and they snooze peacefully. It's nothing short of beautiful, and when Kendall awakes in the morning, the boy is still fast asleep. A momentary smile on his face shows how lucky he feels to be with Logan. He assumes that the circumstances leading to their meeting has been arranged by fate and nothing else. Logan has given him some serious comfort in such trying times.

Kendall lets his long, lean arms wander down Logan's back. He feels the curves he's been longing to stroke, taking in each sensation and wondering how the skin beneath the pajamas is. He apprehensively continues down to Logan's rear and softly cups the bubble of his butt. It's amazing. Never in his wildest dreams did Kendall imagine himself doing this to another man, but now here he is and he loves every moment of it. He wonders if Logan has had sex before, with a man or a woman, if how he likes it? Is he as innocent and cute when he makes love then he is in the rest of his life? Kendall wants to know. Oh God, how he wants to know. But one step at a time, one step at a time. If Logan is a virgin he doesn't want to move too quickly, and even if he _isn't_, this growing relationship seems like a keeper and he'd hate to throw it all away over something stupid like moving too fast.

No, it's not going to be easy but it will be enjoyable. Kendall wants to slide into Logan slowly. Uh. Relationship wise, of course! But his ass _is _so tender and soft, bubbly and round. It feels like a firm woman's butt, only flatter along the side and with nice, hard muscles.

"Mmhh…Kendall…" Logan mumbles in a tiny, sleepy voice causing Kendall to immediately withdraw his hands to the younger's back.

"You awake?"

"Yeah, barely."

"Sleep alright?"

"Yes. You?"

"Great, actually. So you're okay with all of this?"

Logan looks up at Kendall, placing his chin to his sternum, and smiles with his eyes. "Yeah."

"'Cause I really don't want to pressure you into anything."

"You're not. I would tell you. I mean, it's silly to deny the way we feel about each other, am I right?"

Kendall hesitates for a moment, thinking about all the spying, fantasizing and everything else naughty he's guilty of. He exhales all of the negative vibes and whispers, "You're right. You're very, very right."

"I'm glad I got this job," Logan grins.

"Good." Kendall touches Logan's hair softly. He lets the gentle bristles tickle his palm, and a little smile goes across his face. "I meant it when I said you were beautiful."

"I didn't doubt you," Logan replies with a confident smile.

"Yeah, just making sure. Because you are. You really, really are."

"Thank you. You're very sexy, too." Logan tilts his head into Kendall's hand and narrows his eyes. He hums thoughtfully for a moment, then asks "So have you always been gay? Or bi? It seems surprising to me."

"Surprises me, too," Kendall admits. "Never thought I was until I met you. Just…something about you drives me wild. I don't know if it's how nice you are, or how great you take care of Zoe, or…"

"How I'm a good mother?"

"Y-yeah. Something like that."

"Mmm, fair enough. Then let's parent together." Logan grins and hops off of Kendall (much to his disappointment) they gets out of bed and stretches. His small yet supple body twists up as he cracks his spine.

"Parent? How?" Kendall asks.

"We can get Zoe up together."

"Alright."

Kendall nods and also gets up. He puts on his robe and they go out into the hallway. "You think she'd freak if she saw us in the same bed?" Kendall asks in a whisper.

"No, I doubt it."

"Really?"

"She uh, well, she seems to _insist _that I love you."

"_Really?_" Kendall's heavy eyebrows raise high on his forehead and Logan chuckles. He touches Kendall lightly on the shoulder then goes off to Zoe's room.

"Wakey wakey, little girl!" Logan coos. The blonde child rolls over, hugging her stuffed cow, and slowly opens her heavy eyes. "You sleep well?"

"Yeah," Zoe mumbles. The men walk into the bedroom and go close to her bed. Zoe sits up and focuses on them a bit better. "Daddy? Daddy and Logan?"

"Yep," Kendall says. The girl responds with a simple, delighted smile, then her father picks her up and carries her to the bathroom. Logan follows behind and they get her washed up. "You doing good, baby girl?"

"Yeah! Daddy sleep well? Logan sleep well?"

"Yep," Kendall nods with a smile.

"We did," says Logan.

"Now daddy has a lot of work to do today, but when he's done, the three of us will go out to eat. That sound nice?"

"REALLY?!" Zoe asks with a big gasp. Her mouth falls wide open and suddenly she starts to giggle like crazy.

"Yeah!"

* * *

"Gotta finish up those green beans, babe," Kendall tells his daughter, who bluntly pokes at the vegetables on her plate. The three of them are sitting at a booth in the back of a local restaurant. It's nothing fancy, but certainly not a whole in the wall.

Though most of the tension has been erased since last night, Logan can't help but shake the feeling that he and Zoe both look like Kendall's kids. It's of course silly to say that since Kendall is older than Logan but not nearly old enough to be his father.

"Thanks for taking me out to dinner," Logan says.

"You don't need to thank me."

"Heh. Okay. Well, I'm glad I'm here, Kendall."

Zoe perks up from her bean stabbing. "Kendall?" she asks oddly.

"Yes baby, Kendall is daddy's name."

"Kendall?" she asks once more, looking dumbfounded. Kendall laughs.

"Ye-es, daddy's name is Kendall, just like your name is Zoe. And Logan's name is Logan."

"But Logan calls daddy Mr. Knight?" Zoe asks, still sporting a puzzled expression.

"Not anymore," Kendall says. He leans closer to Zoe and smiles a little. She leers at him suspiciously, meanwhile Logan watches with a glass of water to his lips. "Daddy and Logan think maybe, well, maybe we're more like family."

In that instant, Zoe's face glows. It radiates with happiness and she wriggles about with delight. "Daddy and mama!" She cheers, but Kendall puts his hand up and shushes her.

"No, not mama."

"Not mama?" Zoe frowns. She pouts. She even looks like she might _cry_, and Logan feels bad about this.

"Uh, Kendall—"

The father interrupts Logan and continues to explain to Zoe. "Remember when I said you would only have one mama? Just mama mama?"

"Yes," Zoe says quietly. She continues to poke at the green beans, eating one slowly. "Mama…"

"Well, one day you might have two daddies."


	10. Indulge

"Still got some writing to do, so go ahead and put Zoe down for the night. But uh, come to my bedroom again, right?"

"Very tactful," Logan smirks. "Sure. I'll be there."

"If I'm still in the study, go ahead and get in bed without me."

"Alright." He takes Zoe by the hand and goes to her bathroom to get her washed up, while Kendall goes to his study and works a bit longer.

By the time Logan is done with Zoe and goes to the master bedroom, he's quite worn out and ready to sleep. He plops down on the giant bed and cracks his back. Then the bathroom door opens up and he jumps. Kendall is standing there with a toothbrush in his mouth.

"I thought you were in the study?" Logan asks, still gasping a bit from the startle. Kendall smiles and spits into the sink.

"There's a door to it in here."

"Really? That's different."

"Yeah, not my top choice but it comes in handy."

"Did you have this house custom built?"

"Ohh no, no. We bought it this way." Kendall washes his face, pats it dry on a fluffy towel then comes into the bedroom. He takes off all his clothes except for his boxer briefs then slides underneath the covers. Logan watches nervously from the other side, sitting on the edge. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Logan peeps. He shifts awkwardly.

"Logan, you slept with me last night. Just come under the covers. It's fine." Kendall smiles warmly and pulls the blankets back. Logan nods. He stands up, strips down to boxers and an undershirt, then finally gets in bed. Kendall wraps his arms around Logan and pulls him to his chest.

"So uh," Logan mumbles, looking at the tiny patch of soft hair on Kendall's sternum. "Are we like, dating?"

"I suppose."

"Does it bother you that I'm ten years younger than you?"

"Just a little," Kendall admits. "But it's not _that _big of a difference."

"I guess not."

"Are you comfortable with this?"

"Yes," Logan smiles. He straddles Kendall's lap and sits up, looking down at him. Kendall bites his lower lip and looks Logan over. "Very comfortable."

"You're such a cutie," Kendall whispers. "How'd I get so lucky?"

Logan shrugs cutely. "Lucky, I guess?" he giggles, but Kendall reaches up and pulls him down to his lips by the neck. They kiss hotly, groaning and grinding into each other slowly. Logan's hands sit upon Kendall's chest, touching the hot flesh lightly as they keep kissing. The bed starts to heat up with their desire. Kendall pulls Logan's lower lip into his mouth and sucks on it, causing the younger man to moan loudly. He squeals and Kendall pulls away.

"Hey uh," he says quietly. "Are you a virgin?"

Logan stares back with a shy little frown. "M-maybe?"

"Maybe? Well you either are or you aren't." Kendall can't help but chuckle a little, tracing a line on Logan's cheek with his thumb.

"I am," Logan whispers.

"That's fine. Would you rather not have sex with me?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" Kendall giggles.

"Why wouldn't I?" Logan's face has turned bright pink. His fingers hold Kendall's shoulders still, but his grip is uneasy.

"Because then I'd be your first."

"I don't mind." Now the younger one leans down again and kisses Kendall on the lips once more. A growing boner beneath Kendall's underwear prods Logan more and more, undeniably so. They rock into each other. "I want you to take me. Be my first."

"Now?" Kendall asks.

"Now," is Logan's whispered reply.

"Let me get on top of you," Kendall says. He takes Logan off of his body gently, then flips so that he's above him now. He takes Logan's legs and spreads them, placing each knee onto a bony shoulder. Logan looks up at him wide eyed and nervously.

"H-have you ever had anal sex before?" he asks in a tiny voice.

"Yeah. Not with a guy, but an ass is an ass, right?"

"Right," Logan mumbles. He bites his lip and watches Kendall as he pulls off Logan's boxers, revealing his privates in plain sight. It's so nice to finally see it in person. Kendall's heart beats fast and he even hesitates to touch him. His hand lightly runs a line down Logan's dick, causing it to pulsate. Logan moans quietly and keeps watching. His legs are spread and he's helpless.

"Just relax, it'll be fine," Kendall reassures him in a calm voice. He leans over to his nightstand and pulls open the drawer, revealing a pump bottle of lubricant. He takes some on his finger and returns to Logan's rear. Slowly, Kendall's index finger presses onto Logan's tight pucker hole and rubs small circles. Logan cries out loudly. It's cold but it feels good.

"K-Kendall," Logan whines. "Please fuck me."

"I have to warm you up," Kendall says. He begins to insert his finger, watching like a master craftsman. His face is serious and a thin line of pink tongue runs out between his lips. Logan's toes curl and he grips into the soft flannel pillowcase.

"Please, Kendall, please."

"Think you can handle me?"

"_Please_."

Kendall smiles and withdraws his finger. He brings his hand to his crotch and brings his dick out. Logan looks down and sees him unveil the behemoth and his face falls serious. "Oh, my…"

"Once again, think you can handle me?"

"I can try," Logan whimpers. "Just try."

"Alright." The blond grins naughtily and slathers his cock with lube. He grips the shaft with his fist and presses it against Logan's asshole.

"Ohhh," Logan groans. His breathing increases steadily and Kendall starts to push inside. He rocks his hips very gently, making tiny baby steps with the insertion.

"You alright?" Kendall asks in a throaty moan.

"Yeah."

The blond nods and keeps going. Logan presses his eyes shut tightly and grimaces for a bit, but once Kendall gets inside deep enough, it starts to feel good. _Really _good. Logan grips his fingers into Kendall's shoulders once more and screams from the pleasure. His face is bright red as he continues his cries of ecstasy. The feeling is so intense that Kendall can hardly contain himself. He's finally inside the boy he's been watching, yearning for. He groans as his abs work hard, pounding and pounding Logan's tight ass.

"Kendall!" Logan screams. "Fuck me! Fuck me!"

"You like it?" Kendall whispers, huffing and puffing his hot breath. "You like it when daddy fucks you?"

Logan stares up at Kendall panting. His voice grows tiny, breathy, needy. "Yes."

"You like taking daddy's big cock?"

"Yes!" Logan throws his head back and he moans wildly, allowing Kendall to rail him hard. The sensation is intense. His asshole is so tight and perfect, throbbing around the base of Kendall's dick. The older of them suddenly buckles, cries out in desperation and a hot load is shot inside.

"Fuck! Logan!"

"Kendall…" Logan's breathing falls. It gets softer. He smiles sweetly and loosens his hold.

"Oh my God, Logan. You're so amazing. You're so beautiful." He pulls out slowly then climbs off him and gets on his back. His arms wind around Logan and he pulls him close. "Do you want me to make you cum?"

"Not tonight," Logan whispers. He snuggles into Kendall's embrace and closes his eyes happily. "Ohh my gosh. It felt so good."

"Good," Kendall answers with a relaxed sigh. He puts a kiss on the top of Logan's forehead then settles in the pillow, welcoming sleep.


	11. Proceed

Another bad dream about Jo. Kendall is sitting is bed, watching his late wife pace across the bedroom floor. She puts her face in her hands and starts to cry.

"What? What's wrong?" Kendall calls out.

Jo turns to him, pulls down her hands and glares with dark eyes. "It's your fault," she says quietly.

"No, it's not."

"_IT'S YOUR FAULT!"_

Her voice screams then quickly fades away. Kendall starts awake. It's dark. The room is silence. It's warm. He wiggles him fingers and feels Logan's smooth skin beneath them.

"Oh, thank God," Kendall whispers to himself. He's so relieved to be alright.

Logan is cuddled up against Kendall's chest, sleeping peacefully and making a tiny bit of sound. Their bodies are still naked, warm and defenseless. Kendall puts a kiss on Logan's forehead and inhales his smell. His scent is so nice. It reminds Kendall of a light, flowery musk. Logan doesn't wear any cologne and his deodorant is pretty much unscented, resulting in a very natural smell.

The younger guy stirs from Kendall's movements. His eyes open slowly and he does his best to suppress a yawn.

"Morning," Kendall whispers.

"Morning."

"Sleep well?"

"Yes. How about you?"

"Amazing." A big smile stretches across Kendall's face and he hugs Logan's tightly, who responds by closing his eyes again and giggling. "Does your ass feel okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. But are you sure you slept well?"

"Why?"

"I woke up a few times because you were talking."

"I was?!" Kendall's face crumples up. "Did it bother you?"

"Not enough to really disrupt my sleep, but it seemed like you were upset." As he speaks, Logan bends both arms and props himself up on his elbows, looking right at Kendall. "Did you have bad dreams?"

"Kinda, yeah, but don't worry about it." Kendall whispers and runs his fingers through Logan's messy dark hair. The younger man frowns.

"Sure?"

"Mhm. It's fine. It doesn't matter."

"Alright, well I'm going to get Zoe up and start breakfast." Logan sits up and rolls off of Kendall, but before he gets up, the older grabs him around the waist and pulls him back.

"She'll be okay a few more minutes," Kendall says.

"Are you _sure?_" Logan asks.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Now Kendall sits up and yanks Logan into his lap, chest-to-back. Kendall's lips fall into the crook of Logan's neck and he places kiss after kiss, causing a chain reaction of moans to ooze out of Logan's mouth. He rolls his head back as Kendall keeps kissing, licking, and even nibbling.

"K-Kendall," Logan gasps. His hands curl around Kendall's thighs and he shakes just a bit as his whole body heats up from the kisses. "Oh, oh Kendall."

Without speaking, Kendall stays focused on his mouthing. He lets his hands wander down Logan's chest, touching the smooth skin with the utmost finesse, making small circles as they go. When he reaches Logan's stomach, he toys with the piercing gently.

"Kendall," Logan moans. "Kendall I have to get Zoe up, it's getting late."

"But you didn't cum last night. I want to get you off."

"Later," Logan says. He looks back at Kendall as best as he can. "Promise."

"Sure," Kendall agrees, releasing his lover from his grip.

Logan gets dressed quickly and goes to Zoe's room. The girl is awake, sitting up in bed with a tired smile on her face.

"Sorry sweetie," Logan coos and he walks in. "I was a little distracted."

"It's okaaaaay," Zoe mumbles, rubbing her eyes. Logan opens the blinds and she squints.

"Let's get up and start breakfast, okay?"

"Okaaaaay."

Logan picks Zoe up and they head to the bathroom to get her dressed. Once finished, they go downstairs and Logan starts to make something to eat. When he's almost done, Kendall comes in and walks up behind Logan.

"Nearly ready," Logan says quietly.

"Take your time," Kendall whispers. He slides his arms around Logan's waist and pulls his back to him. Logan winces and looks at him.

"Kendall," he hisses. "The girl."

"It's fine," Kendall insists. "She needs to get used to the idea anyway." He puts a kiss on Logan's cheek then turns back to his daughter, who's actually too preoccupied with her silverware to even notice. "See? And no apocalypse."

"I guess you're right," Logan says shortly. He scrapes some eggs of the pan and onto a plate, which is then carried to the table. "You want something to drink?" Logan asks Zoe, who requests milk. "Kendall?"

"Nah, I'm fine."

They all sit down at the table and Kendal looks at his food, smiling. He smiles big. Real big. Bigger than Logan has seen before.

"What is it?" Logan asks, catching the contagious smile as well.

"Okay, well this might sound silly," Kendall begins with a giggle. Zoe shoves some egg into her mouth and stares at her father expectantly. "But it feels like I have a whole family again."

"Aww," Logan whispers. His cheeks turn bright red and he touches Kendall's hand softly. They lean in and kiss.

"We do."

Kendall looks up and sees Zoe staring at him. She smiles and repeats herself; "We do."

"We do what, honey?"

"We do have a whole family again."

"Alright, champ!" Kendall smiles big as he hoists Zoe into her bed. He pulls the covers up to her shoulders and pats her on the head. "You want a story?"

"No," Zoe says sternly.

"No? Seriously?"

She shakes her head.

"Are you sleepy?"

"Yes."

"Um, alright. Well get daddy if you can't sleep, okay?"

"Yes."

Kendall leans down and kisses his daughter on the cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, daddy."

He gets up and turns off the little cow lamp on the nightstand and goes to leave, but Zoe makes a strange humming sound.

"What was that?" Kendall asks, stopping in his tracks.

"Daddy," Zoe whispers. Her father comes back and squats next to the bed.

"What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes," the little girl insists. "Is daddy going to marry Logan?"

"Uhm, sweetheart, that's uh, that's a big question," Kendall swallows hard. "I don't know Logan all _that _well, and we need to uh, live together a bit longer for that."

"Oh," Zoe sighs. She closes her eyes and turns her back to Kendall. "Okay. Good night, daddy."

"Uhh, good night baby girl."

Kendall leaves his daughter's bedroom feeling slightly awkward, then goes to his room. He steps inside and closes the door. Logan is sitting in bed on his phone. "Are you alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, why?" Kendall pulls off his shirt and pants then gets in bed next to him.

"You look kinda funny."

"Nah, it's cool."

"If you say so." Logan turns his phone off and sets it on the nightstand. He rolls onto his side, facing Kendall, and hugs him tight. "We are like a family, you know that?"

"We are," Kendall smiles, returning the hug. "We really are."

"You wanted to get me off, right?" Logan asks with a naughty smile.

"I did. Well, I _do_. Mhm." Kendall leans down to Logan and kisses him on the lips. They smack a couple times then he withdraws. "Ready?"

"Yeah," Logan whispers.

Kendall places a final kiss on his lips then rolls Logan onto his back. He straddles him but then moves down, flicking his tongue gently across the flesh as he moves. Logan closes his eyes and moans loudly, letting his hands shakily run to Kendall's head, where he touches the soft blond hair. Kendall moves lower and lower, across Logan's tummy, passing the piercing and finally to his crotch, where a fine boner stands. Kendall takes the base of it in his hand and squeezes lightly.

"Oh my God," Logan whispers. "Kendall…"

"It'll feel good, I promise." Kendall kisses the tip of Logan's cock and looks up at him, but Logan's eyes are closed tight and his head rocks from side to side. "I love you," Kendall whispers.

Logan's reply is little more than a breathy, "love you too" that is choked by gasps. But the moans increase rapidly as Kendall starts to pull his dick within his mouth. His soft lips wrap around the head and his tongue strokes it.

"Oh God! Kendall! Kendall!" Logan shouts and screams, groping the sheets around them. Kendall smiles as he lowers further and further, pulling the hard shaft into his mouth. "KENDALL!"

Logan cries out wickedly as a small rope of cum squirts inside Kendall's mouth. The younger man's chest raises and lowers rapidly, coated in a thin, cold sweat, huffing and puffing from the new kind of orgasm. Kendall pulls off of the cock and kisses it once more before returning to pillow-level. Logan shakes all over. He tries to catch his breath and flings himself into Kendall's arms.

"Did you like that?" Kendall whispers.

"Oh my God," Logan groans. "You have to teach me how to do that to you."

"Sure." The blond smiles big and holds Logan against his chest. They cuddle together and quickly fall asleep.


	12. Join

"OH! OH! KENDALL! KENDALL! OH! GOD! AHH!"

Unable to sleep, Kendall and Logan are up in the middle of the night and going at it again. Logan sits on his hands and knees, bucking his ass back into Kendall, who has his arms wrapped tight around the younger's body and holds him close. He humps him hard, huffing heavy whispers into his ear. "Do you like that? Is it good? Yeah?"

"Ohh Kendall! Ohh, fuck me daddy! Please!" Logan squeals, gripping the sheets in the throngs of ecstasy. Sweat sticks their bodies together, binding their flesh with slickness. Kendall's teeth bare down into Logan's neck, nipping and gripping his skin as he continues to slam him hard, thumping the headboard loudly into the wall.

"KENDALL! KENDALL! FUCK ME KENDALL!" Logan shouts into the pillow so strongly that his voice starts to crack and turn hoarse. Kendall loves it. His groans turn to whimpers as his dick throbs and throbs, slipping in and out of Logan's tight little boy pussy. They shake in unison, engulfed in a passion that almost feels as hot as fire.

"Ohh God, Logan," Kendall whispers into his ear, sensing his imminent orgasm. But just before he hits his peak, a series of thumps on the outside of the bedroom door followed by a desperate, "Daddyyyyy!" and the show is over.

"Oh!" Logan squeals as Kendall pulls himself out quickly.

"J-just a second sweetheart!" Kendall calls to his daughter, attempting to catch his breath. "Logan get dressed."

"Right, right." The younger is dizzy from the pounding and it almost hurts to have cut it short like that but what can he do? They both scamper to get into pajamas and Kendall rushes to the door. He flings it open and Zoe is standing there, clutching her Dasher toy to her chest.

"I can't sleep," she sighs.

"Aww, why not baby?"

"I had a dream about mama."

"I'm sorry. Do you want to sleep in daddy's bed?" She nods slowly, almost crying. "Logan is here, too. Is that okay?" Zoe nods again. "Alright, come on it. Hey Logan we have company."

"Oh!" Logan swallows. "S-sure."

Kendall picks Zoe up and places her in between them on the big bed. She hugs Kendall between Dasher and smiles. "Thank you, daddy!"

"Not a problem," Kendall says. He gives her a tiny kiss on the forehead and holds her close, aching on the inside from the lack of release. But Logan lays on his side, opposite of them, and watches with a smile.

"Daddy?" Zoe whispers.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Daddy is playing games with Logan?"

Kendall's face turns bright red. "Um, don't worry about it, baby girl," he tells her quickly. Logan can't help but chuckle quietly.

"Daddy?"

"Y-yeah?"

"What's fuck?"

Kendall groans real loud and throws his head back. "Zoe, that's a grown-up word. You shouldn't know it or say it."

"Ohh…"

He looks over his daughter's head and frowns sadly at Logan, who is still decently amused but also a little embarrassed over the conversation.

"Don't worry about those things, okay?" Kendall reiterates. "It's daddy stuff."

"Ohh," Zoe sighs. "Okay. So Logan is daddy?"

"I don't know baby. Try to get some sleep."

* * *

"Looooogan!"

Zoe's little voice wakes them up in the morning. While they were asleep, Logan managed to squeeze his way back into Kendall's arms, leaving Zoe somewhere pushed around in the middle. She's gotten up onto Logan's chest and straddles him, poking.

"Loooooogan!" she says once more and finally Logan comes to. He opens his eyes slowly and reaches his hands out to the little girl, who grabs them and squeezes as best as she can. "Morning daddy Logan."

"Uhh. Uhh!" Logan's eyes suddenly widen. "Daddy…Logan?"

"Daddy Logan!" Zoe cheers. She flops down onto Logan's chest and hugs him.

"Um! Kendall?!"

"Urhh. Ummphh…" Kendall stirs awake and yawns real big. "Whaaat."

Logan leans up to Kendall's ear and whispers, "She's calling me daddy Logan."

Kendall starts laughing and Zoe copies him. "Aww-haw-haw," Kendall chortles. "Daddy Logan?"

"Daddy Logan," Zoe repeats with a smug sense of satisfaction. She sits up on Logan and folds her arms.

"That's cute," Kendall says, but Logan is less than pleased pleased. "What?"

"I'm not daddy!" the younger insists.

Kendall stretches his back once more and chuckles, then takes Zoe off of Logan and holds her in his arms. "What d'you think, baby girl?"

"Daddy and daddy Logan," Zoe states clearly.

"Well you heard her," Kendall says. "Looks like you're daddy Logan."

"But it's too soon!" Logan squeals.

"It's not too soon for everything else," the blonde sneers and sticks his tongue out at Logan. "So why not?" Grumbling, Logan agrees. He gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom to get dressed, leaving Kendall alone with his daughter. "You like Logan as your other daddy?"

"Mhm!"

"He's a good daddy."

"Yeah!" Zoe flops down on Kendall's chest and hugs him. "Good daddies."

Logan comes out of the bathroom but still looking sleepy. "Zoe, do you want to start on breakfast so daddy can get dressed and do things he needs to?"

"Okay." The girl wiggles her way off of her father then joins Logan on their trip to the kitchen. Logan puts her in the chair and starts on French toast while Kendall scampers around to get dressed. Once all said and done, the three people are sitting around the table enjoying breakfast together.

"The fifth book comes out today," Kendall announces humbly.

"Fifth book?" Logan asks, not looking up from his plate.

"Yeah, the fifth book in my series. It's release is today."

"Neat. Do you have signings or anything?"

"Nah not today. But in a week I do. It's just a few local places but my agent wants me to take a national tour."

"Really? National?" Logan's dark eyes widen and Zoe copies him, unaware of why he's so shocked.

"They've been pushing it for a little while," says Kendall. He takes a long sip of coffee then sets the mug down with a clonk. "I could never do it before, 'cause between me and Jo being so busy it'd be impossible to watch Zoe."

"Zoe," the girl says out loud as she poked into her food, gazing between the adults' chatter. Kendall smiles briefly and continues.

"But I thought maybe now, you could come with me."

Logan freezes. "Come with you? On a national tour? Seriously?"

"Yeah why not?" The blond stabs a piece of fruit with his fork and pops it into his mouth. "It might even be fun."

"I-I've never even left California," Logan says quietly. "That would be…"

"Amazing, right?" Kendall interjects. He finishes his food and takes his plate to the sink. "Maybe even life changing?"

Logan suddenly springs up from the chair and runs into Kendall's arms, immediately kissing him. Kendall is a little surprised at first but then he melds into the kiss and puts his hands on Logan's back. Once it slowly breaks off, Logan peers up at Kendall with big eyes. "That would be so incredible," he whispers.

"Then let's do it. I'll call my agent today."


	13. Chat

"Good God," Kendall whispers to himself. As Logan is busy playing with Zoe during the afternoon, Kendall has taken a few minutes away from his writing to scan a couple gay porn websites for ideas. Having considered himself straight his entire life, his knowledge of what to do with another guy is quite limited. That's all changing now.

_Twink takes a big load._

_Hot threeway in back of truck._

The titles continue. Acre after acre of hot, steamy videos flood Kendall's screen as he scrolls down. Then he settles on one and watches, wide-eyed. A thin pale boy sits on his hands and knees as another, a bit more buff, gets behind him and begins to lick his asshole. Kendall's face turns bright red. The coos and cries that the boy makes as he gets deeply rimmed are so hot, so sexy and so fucking intense that Kendall feels he might cum right in his pants like that. He has to stop himself from drooling everywhere as the porn continues to play. Oh God, he wants to taste Logan's boy pussy real bad now. He wants to hear what sort of noises he makes when that happens.

But for now, Logan is busy with the kid so Kendall has to take care of himself. He whips out his dick and rubs one out quickly, then cleans up and gets back to writing. Unfortunately he can't work. His fingers sit atop the keys and he _has _to produce more, but his mind is a complete blank. All he can focus on is the prospect of fucking Logan again. He's a little addicted to that boy.

Time for a break. There's nothing else he can do. So Kendall shuts off his computer and goes downstairs. He pours himself a glass of water and meanders over to the sliding door to the porch. With his nose against the glass, he stares out into the yard and sighs. Writer's block is a bitch.

Then his cellphone goes off. He jumps, sets the water down then pulls the phone from his pocket. "Oh," he says out loud to himself. It's his mom. "Hey, ma."

"Kendall? Are you doing alright?" she says on the other end.

"Yeah of course. Why?"

"You didn't call me yesterday."

"Oh, right." Kendall almost always calls her on the first of the month, just to check in and see how things are. It often ends with him giving her money, even though she resists a million times. "Sorry, I guess I've been a little busy."

"Busy with what? Didn't you hire a nanny to make that easier?"

"Riiiight, well, I dunno."

"Is it a woman? Is there another woman?"

"Ma, come on."

"There is! Who is she? What does she do? How old? Kendall, tell me! I'm going to find out anyway."

"There's no woman," Kendall insists. His mother is quiet for a moment.

"Are you sure?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just me and Zoe and the nanny. Okay? I've been working hard on this novel and, oh! My agent has agreed to start a national tour for me."

"Sweetie! That's wonderful!" His mother gasps and giggles on her end of the phone. "When does it start?"

"Haven't booked it yet, but we're gonna. I'm sooo happy."

"Me, too! Oh, that's so good. But make sure you stay in shape while you're touring. Without your daily swim you might get a little thick in the tummy."

"Ma, please. I can take care of myself."

"Mothers worry."

"Pshh. It's fine. You act like I'm still a kid."

"You're still my kid, Kendall."

"I know. Relax. I'll keep you updated, okay?"

"Thank you, honey."

"So what else is new with you?" Kendall asks.

"Oh, the usual. Work is fine. Your sister is fine. Speaking of, when was the last time you talked to her? When did she last see Zoe?"

"A year."

"That's too long. You need to have you over. What happened between you two?"

"Nothing happened," Kendall insists. He takes his glass of water in his free hand and sips. "She's busy, I'm busy. It happens."

"She needs to see her niece more. Oh, I should call her. Kendall do you mind? I need to give her a call. I'll talk to you later."

"Uh, sure. Okay. Bye, ma."

"Bye sweetheart." She hangs up quickly and Kendall keeps the phone to his ear for a moment, shaking his head with a tiny laugh. His mom is such a nut, but he loves her. Finally he returns the phone to his pocket, then goes back upstairs to attempt writing some more.

But he's unsuccessful still. Rampant nasty, horny thoughts are clouding his mind incessantly. Being alone at his computer doesn't help it, either, so he needs to distract himself. Maybe he could go for a swim and take his mind off of things.

"I'll be in the pool for a bit," Kendall announces to Logan before heads downstairs.

"Okay, sure."

The blond makes his way to the pool, closes the door behind him then drops his robe and jumps in. He swims laps for a while, clearing his mind of _everything_, including Logan and rim jobs, his sister and phone calls, even Zoe and Zoe things. It's just Kendall and the water for a while. It feels good. He even thinks of some new ideas for the story which is of course excellent.

After a while he slows down and decides to get out. He drifts to the shallow end then ascends the steps out, grabs a towel and shuffles over to the door. As he opens it up, Logan is coming down the stairs.

"Hey," Kendall says. "Everything okay?"

"Just put Zoe down for a nap so I thought I would see how you were doing. Everything alright? You seem a bit off."

"Eh, I talked to my mom on the phone."

"Oh yeah? How was she?" Logan walks up to Kendall and smiles. The older of them leans down and puts a kiss on his lips.

"Crazy as usual, but that's my mom. She wants me to have my sister over."

"You have a sister?"

"Yeah, she's a few years younger than me."

"Are you going to? Have her over, I mean." Logan takes a few steps backwards and keeps smiling.

"Probably," Kendall says. "But I dunno what to do about you."

"How so?"

"Obviously since _I've _only realized I'm gay, my family doesn't know."

"I can just pretend to be the nanny, and nothing more," Logan grins. "I can do that."

"But Zoe? Zoe is calling you Daddy Logan now. That's not gonna fly."

"We'll figure it out," Logan says confidently. "Now come here."

He pulls Kendall by the robe, backwards toward the billiards table. Logan sits on the edge and wraps his arms around Kendall's waist.

"Someone feeling a little naughty?" Kendall asks. His face grows wide with a smile, terribly delighted that he's going to get some relief. Finally.

"Maybe," Logan teases. He pushes open Kendall's robe and looks up at him with a sinister, sexy smirk. "Is daddy going to take care of me?"

"Oh fuck," Kendall groans. "Yeah, yeah he sure is."

A thick boner grows beneath his swim trunks and Logan immediately begins to rub the outside of it. Kendall's face turns bright red and he moans. "That's good," he whispers. "That's a good boy."

"Fuck me on here," Logan says desperately. He brings both legs up to the edge of the pool table and lays back. "Please fuck me on here."

"I like that," Kendall says. The robe falls to the floor and he smiles at his young partner. "Logan?"

"Y-yes?"

"Do you know what a rim job is?"

"Of course."

"Do you want one?"

"I guess so," Logan giggles. His toes curl and he lets his legs fall open even more. "You want to try?"

"Yeah," Kendall admits with a little embarrassment.

"I would like that," Logan whispers. Kendall grins briefly then moves down to his knees. He pulls Logan by the hips so that his legs drape over Kendall's shoulders. Then he spreads his soft butt cheeks apart and stares at the hole. It's so tight, so tender and young, so perfect and _all his. _Kendall moves in and rubs his tongue against it. He treats it like eating pussy, which he was always told he was great at; long, wet strokes followed by a series of violent flicks. Logan bucks his hips up and cries out, sending his moans and squeals echoing in the basement.

"K-KENDALL!" he screams wildly, now grabbing at his own dick with a shaking hand. The sensation is so wonderful and amazing that he almost convulses. "KENDALL! AH!"

The blond grins wickedly and continues to lick. His tongue presses inside the tight boy pussy and begins to fuck him. He thrusts and trusts, licking and sucking while keeping a steady stream of saliva running through it. Logan's body is white hot as he squeals and wiggles, barely capable of controlling his movements. He cries out very loud and locks his legs on Kendall's bony shoulders. Then he jerks himself off faster and faster, keeping a rhythm with the wicked rimming. It becomes almost tantric and trance-like in motion, then suddenly it all comes to a halt when Logan cums. Long ropes of white goo shoot across the boy's abs. He cries one final, silky moan and his body finally relaxes. Kendall moves his face away and gets back to his feet.

"I guess you liked that?" Kendall whispers.

"Y-yes," is Logan's response between gasps. His lips are bright pink and he's stuck staring at the ceiling. But he smiles when Kendall comes into his vision.

"It was hot. You're so damn sexy," Kendall grins. He leans down and puts a kiss on Logan's lips. "Mm. You feel great wrapped around my tongue."

"And it felt great."

Logan is finally able to sit up and get off of the billiards table. His legs are a bit shaky as he heads to the stairs back up and he takes Kendall's arm.

"You know what Zoe told me?" Logan says.

"What's that?"

"She told me that _someone _has a birthday coming up."

Kendall narrows his eyes and Logan and suppresses a smile. "Oh yeah? And who is that?"

"You, silly." Logan pokes his partner in the side and giggles.

"I know," Kendall grins. "But I don't want to make a big deal out of it."

"Why not?"

"I just don't." Suddenly Kendall's voice changes. It gets serious and he looks down while they go upstairs. Logan's grip on his arm stays steady.

"What's wrong, daddy?"

Kendall chuckles a bit at the nickname but goes back to frowning. "I'd rather not talk about it."


End file.
